Health Class Blues
by DemonCatBeastie
Summary: CPR in Health class is always cause for alarm, but what if your love interest is in the class with you? FLUFFY warning! (shishi)


Health Class Blues  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own these. They are not mine. Suing is futile. All I ownz is the plot, and it sounds a little cliche to me, so I could be a little off there, too...  
So the reader isn't lost: This is a bit AU, set in a high school health class, probably freshman level.  
Author's notes: Not much to say, except responses are appreciated (even if you won't give them) and I DON'T CARE IF YOU HATED IT, tell me anyway. That way I know it sucked and have an idea why. M'kay? On with the fiction...  
  
The teacher yelled over the bell and clamouring students, desperately trying to warn her students of the curriculum for the following day. On the years she hadn't given warning, the students had fairly howled in dismay; This way, she couldn't say they didn't know.  
Tomorrow, class!" she yelled, "We have CPR practice! Anyone not here will be marked unexcused and will have to practice in a later class or during detention!"  
The class groaned collectively as the teacher returned to collecting her things, thankful that the day was done.  
Satoshi remained silent, packing his books and preparing for the walk home.  
Tomorrow was the day he had looked forward to and dreaded with all his heart since starting this class. He glanced up long enough to look around at his usual companions: Kasumi, eyeing him thoughtfully; Aoshi, who was gazing at her with an expression nothing short of lovestruck; Kenji, too wrapped up in his artbook to notice it was time to go; and Brock, who was considering anything developed enough to have breasts.  
Lastly, but in his mind far from least, he noted Shigeru, standing, swathed in estrogen as girls batted their eyes or flipped their hair at him. The boy eked defiance and rebellion, though he probably had no idea what he was defying and rebelling.  
'Shigeru,' he thought, mind's voice expressing more than just saying it out loud ever could. It was a mix of annoyance, dislike, concern and affection that the human voice had a hard time emulating.  
It wasn't hate; It wasn't love; It was just knowing that his heart wanted to kiss-kill-lock-in-the-attic-and-use-as-plaything-eradicate-abandon-him-on-a-desert-island-and-never-look-back, and the mash of emotion was doing nothing less than make satoshi want to lock himself in a closet until this rage of hormones had finally receded.  
Maybe by the time he hit 25.  
Eleven years, though, seemed like an awfully long time to sit in a closet with little more than his hand to keep him company, so he went with plan B: Just keep going and pretend nothing was wrong.  
Satoshi lurched forward suddenly with the added weight of another human body on his back. Less-than-developed breasts pressed on his shoulder blades, and Kasumi chirped "C'mon, Satoshi, time to go home!"  
"Get off my back, you crazy chick!" Satoshi shot. Kasumi only laughed, hugging him around the shoulders and rocking back and forth.  
"Aw, you know you like me! Satoshi, will you be my CPR partner?"  
"Ack! No!" he cried, standing up, grabbing his backpack and bolting for the door in one motion.  
"Satoshi, wait up!" Kasumi called after him.  
"Yeah, Satoshi, wait!" Brock called, chasing after him. Kasumi tailed both of them out the door, Aoshi yelling "I'm coming too!" and dashing after his friends.  
Shigeru glared after them, then returned to pretending to listen to the girls fawning over him. This was not a difficult task; Slant his eyes and flash a smile and they melted for him. All he had to listen for was questions, to which he answered, "I'll consider it; can I call you later about it?" because all they ever asked for was dates.  
He really wasn't interested.  
"Satoshi," his mind hissed in the other boy's direction. The emotions it carried mirrored what his rival had been thinking earlier, though neither one could've known.  
Kenji, however, could pick up on these things.  
"Shigeru! Hey, when did class get out?" Kenji asked, picking up his backpack and weeding his way through women, copping unnoticed feels periodically. Not for the first time, Shigeru wondered if Kenji enjoyed his friend's popularity more than he did.  
"You didn't miss much, it got out about two minutes ago."  
"We're gonna run late! Don't want to fall too far behind Satoshi and the others," He said, grabbing Shigeru's wrist and yanking him away from the ladies before they dug their nails in and refused to let go.   
Shigeru let himself be dragged off until they left the building, when he turned to Kenji and asked "What makes you think I want to catch up with that loser, anyway?"  
Kenji tapped his nose and grinned. "You're good, Shigeru, but I'm better; I can read your expressions, no matter how well you hide what you're thinking. And I'm willing to bet you were thinking 'Satoshi' shortly before we left."  
Shigeru blanched at the statement, and stumbled as he glared. "I told you not to mention that."  
"Oops!" Kenji said, though he didn't sound very apologetic. "So... Were you?"  
"Yeah..."  
"I knew it! An artist always knows these things!"  
"Speaking of art, what were you so caught up with drawing during class today?"  
"Oh, not much... Just trying to capture the look on Satoshi's face."  
"What look?"  
"The look he was giving you when the teacher mentioned CPR tomorrow."  
Shigeru stopped moving, staring at Kenji in shock. Kenji walked on, smile as big as ever. "What look?!" Shigeru yelled after him, running to catch up.  
"I don't know!" Kenji yelled back innocently, running to keep away. Shigeru made a loud, exhasperated sound, which only made Kenji laugh and run faster toward Okido's.  
*  
Later that evening, Satoshi sat in the bath tub, blurred by steam and the weight of his thoughts. He sighed heavily and wondered what he'd do about Health class the next day.  
He wanted to practice on Shigeru. He didn't want to practice on Shigeru. He wanted to play sick and get away with it, and he wanted to have first pick in partners and choose Shigeru and have him appreciate the gesture. He wanted to hit the reset button on life and readjust his statistics. He wanted to just escape all of this, but he wanted to see it through.  
Not like any of that mattered. This was where he was, and wants weren't going to win against shoulds.  
His mother didn't know. The thought plagued him; his mother had no idea what was going on, and he wanted to tell her but knew that if he did, she probably wouldn't react with a smile and a "that's nice, sweetie, now put your underwear away". What bothered him more was that she MIGHT know, as any good Mom knows anything, and worse than that, if she knew she was STILL half pushing Kasumi on him.   
"Ash, sweetie, are you going to Shigeru's house to stay the night? Pack fresh underwear!" and "You and Kasumi are so adorable, the way you fight!" were frequent questions. Didn't Mom know that when boys stayed the night at each other's house, fresh underwear was only needed if you were staying more than one night? Didn't she notice how he glared at her when she made comments about Kasumi? Really glared?   
Or was Delia really as loopy as she seemed?  
Satoshi sank deeper into the water, sigh dissipating into bubbles.  
"Pikapi," a sqeaky voice said. Satoshi looked over the rim of the tub to see the yellow waterhazard looking at him curiously, twitching an ear.  
"Pikachu, you shouldn't be in here," Satoshi commented. The mouse only smiled cutely and jumped up on the lid of the toilet, finding a better vantage point to chatter at him.  
Satoshi had a strange sort of communication with the rodent: It chattered like a mother at him, he sat back, rolled his eyes, and listened anyway. By the intonations and paw waggling and expressions, he always got the message, or tried really hard. Today's rant was something along the lines of "You're too young to be brooding."  
"I have plenty right to brood, it keeps me from going crazy."  
Chatter chatter, twitch right ear, end of tail, left ear twice, wrinkle nose, twitch left paw.  
"I don't want to tell you what I'm brooding about."  
Angry chatter, cheeks crackling.  
"All right, all right! ... It's about my love interest..."  
Twitch, knowing look, squeak. Satoshi realized that was definitely not Rodentese for Kasumi.  
"Uhm, repeat that and point in the direction of their house."  
Twitch, knowing look, squeak, hop to window and point at Okido's.   
Satoshi stared at the creature, who only smiled triumphantly at him.  
"How...?"  
Pikachu chattered and puffed itself up, which either translated to "I know you too well" or "I'm second to God", Satoshi couldn't tell, but he got out of the bath tub quickly and addressed the mouse face to face.  
"You can't tell ANYONE."  
"Chaa!" It said, giving him a look that seemed reminiscent of the human "Well no duh."  
Satoshi sighed and began the towel off process.  
*  
Shigeru sat on his bed, Kenji on the other end, sketching while Shigeru talked and soaked in the drawing of Satoshi from earlier that day.  
"You sure this was what he looked like?" Shigeru asked.  
"Absolutely. I repeat, I'm very precise with my pictures." Kenji grinned. "You really that worried about it?"  
"Yes, and I know you have the ability to 'adjust' your pictures. I've seen your drawings of Junsa and some of our better-endowed classmates. Unless you actually DO get them to pose naked for you, that is."  
Kenji winked at Shigeru. "Only occaisionally. Don't widen your eyes like that, it completely throws the picture."  
Shigeru tried to return to the expression he had been using so Kenji could continue drawing.  
"So you're sure this was the look?"  
"That was the look. It was THE look, the one of consideration and inner turmoil."  
"Hnh..."  
They fell into silence for a few minutes, leaving Shigeru to his thoughts. Doubt was the biggest on his mind; he couldn't see Satoshi looking at him with 'the look'. He never saw it, and you would think Satoshi- being the moron he is- would slip and let it show through at some point. Never. Not once.   
When Kenji said "Finished!" Shigeru threw himself onto the bed, a little melodramatically, and snarled loudly into a pillow, frustrated. Kenji raised an eyebrow.  
"You okay?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine, just agitated," Shigeru responded, muffled by the feathery insides of his pillow. He turned his face so he could speak and be heard properly. "You think this will ever stop?"  
"Depends. When did it start?"  
Kenji took the groaning noise and face plant into the pillow to mean something more like a few years.  
"In that case, I'd say it may be a while..."  
"I hate this."  
"Would you rather be without it?"  
"...No..."   
"Then 'hate' is the wrong word."  
Shigeru sighed. "I know..."  
"Shigeru..."  
"Hm?"  
"Hold that pose."  
*  
The dawn broke over the horizon, rays of rose and gold piercing the clouds gathering to covet the beauty for themselves. Dew settled on a spider's web, dripped off the edge of a Morning Glory, collected on the fence edge.  
Satoshi awoke and gazed out the window at the beauty that was the morning until he realized what the daily agenda happened to be.  
"Dammit," he hissed into his pillow. "The one day I need a breath neutralizer and I forgot to think of it when I had the time..."  
Satoshi stood up and thudded his way downstairs, his feet falling heavily on each step, then pounded into the kitchen.  
"Morning, sweetie!" Hanako said. "How did you sleep?"   
"Fine." Satoshi poured his cereal, though not necessarily into the bowl as Pikachu proved by grabbing one of the several cereal grains and nibbling on it happily.   
"Satoshi, please get Pikachu off the table."  
"Pikachu, get off the table."  
"Cha!" It quipped, hopping down only after stashing more cereal into his mouth. Satoshi poured his milk into his bowl, more carefully than he did the cereal, and proceeded to shovel food into his mouth.  
"Honey, don't eat like that."  
"Why?" he asked through a mouthful of half-chewed cereal.  
"Because it makes you look like a neanderthal, now eat properly and don't talk with your mouthful."  
Satoshi sighed, swallowed, "Yes Mom"ed and finished his meal in silence. As he went back to his room to get properly dressed for school, his mother called "Honey? Don't forget to change your underwear!"  
Satoshi pretended he hadn't heard her by not responding. As if he really needed a reminder for that.  
He pulled on his school uniform, mind whirring. Today was the day. As soon as this was over, the rest of the year would be down hill. No regrets.   
He still needed a breath freshener.  
As Satoshi did the final button, a thought struck him: The flavor extracts in the kitchen. His mother was always cooking weird stuff, so they had a wide variety; he could just put a few drops on his tongue and go from there! He'd tried the Vanilla extract before, and while yes it was nasty, Binaca wasn't exactly savory either, so what could go wrong?  
He slipped out of his room on tip toes, listening for his mother. She was in her room, humming some old song. Satoshi padded down stairs and into the kitchen, already considering which extract he would use.  
His choices were between the vanilla, almond, lemon and orange. He started considering questions he had always considered fairly stupid, but given the appropriate situation, a question can certainly gain intelligence...  
'Do I want sweet and gentle, gentle and captivating, sharp and intense, or intense and charismatic?' he thought, then wondered where the hell he had gotten these personifications. As he heard his mother start the decent of the stairs, he grabbed the intense and charismatic orange, shoved the bottle in his pocket, and ran for the front door.  
"Gotta go mom, I'm gonna be late!"  
"But honey, you've still got half an hour before you need to leave!"  
"Ehm... I said I'd walk with Takeshi and Kasumi today!"  
"Oh, that's so nice of you! Tell them I said 'hi', and tell Kasumi I'd love to help her learn to cook!"  
"Allright," he said weakly, making a mental note to stay at Takeshi's until Kasumi was out of the kitchen. At least Takeshi could cook.  
*  
Shigeru watched the sun rise until it was too bright to watch, stewing over what he was going to do about health class that day.  
When he realized very little would make the problem go away entirely (nothing short of leaving home or death, and he didn't really feel like appealing to either of those) his next problem darkened his mood.  
He could not make himself look obsessive compulsive enough to brush his teeth before class.  
Besides, they only had one tube of toothpaste, and what if he was one of the last to recusitate?   
He glowered at his fingernail and sighed, stood, and went to the kitchen.  
"Morning, Grampa."  
"Good morning, Shigeru!" Okido said cheerfully, "How are you this morning?"   
"Wishing I could call in sick," Shigeru replied. "Today is gonna suck."  
"Now, don't be so negative!"  
"CPR in Health class."  
"...Well, it can't be all bad! There's probably a charming girl in your class you could have for your CPR partner."  
"I know, thats... what I'm hoping for." It was only a little bit of a lie; Rather than go through the torment of facing Satoshi, a hot chick would be good. His heart, however, didn't seem to approve.  
"Well, it should all go well, then. I'm out to check on the Pokemon, see you this afternoon!"  
With that, Okido left the kitchen and Shigeru to his thoughts.  
"Hnh... I still don't have anything for my breath," he muttered.   
That's when his vision glanced over the spice rack.  
The spice rack that also held the flavor extracts.  
He stepped over to the rack, considering his options. Fresh breath with a something-other-than-mint flavor, or go without and run the risk. He knew how these things worked: If he decided to go without, he'd end up eating something onion-filled, garlic-filled, or italian for lunch and never live it down. Or, take one of the extracts and hope it worked.  
Fifteen minutes later, as he was running out the door, he dropped the bottle into his pocket and patted it gently.  
He'd always liked almond flavors.  
*  
The school day had sped past, and like most anything caught speeding and intoxicated, it came to a crashing halt as soon as health class began. The intoxication was the muck that had once been the minds of the last-hour health class, distracting them from their other classes, pulling their attention to writing notes to each other, scribbling ridiculous little doodles of hearts and names. The other teachers knew what this was, partly because of fair warning and partly because of experience, and hadn't planned anything important unless they felt particularly vindictive.  
Satoshi hid in the bathroom, back against the door, looking thoughtfully at the bottle.   
He hadn't given much thought to how he would use the stuff.   
Realizing the bell was about to ring for class, he spun the cap off and poured a little into his mouth. It couldn't have been more than teaspoon, he realized later, but it felt like a tablespoon and a half. He did manage to swallow before he started to cough, eyes watering and cheeks darkening from the shock and bitterness.  
He recovered as quickly as he could, running down the hall and praying he would make it.  
In another boys bathroom, Shigeru was having similar feelings. The almond extract didn't go down smoothly, and he had not even thought to brace himself. He dry retched over the toilet a few times, managing to keep things down, took several deep breaths, and bolted for the classroom.  
The two stumbled through the doorway just as the bell began to ring, and seated themselves before it stopped. Kasumi gave Satoshi a curious look, to which he smiled wanly and heaved a sigh of relief.  
Kenji smirked at Shigeru, leaning over and whispering, "I smell almonds."  
Shigeru elbowed him, wishing he hadn't told him about the extract. "Say anything and I'll pummel you."  
"If everyone's here, I'd like to begin class," the teacher said, calling attention forward and causing the rustle of whispers to fall silent.   
"I've paired you off at random," she announced," and gone alphabetically based on the last name of the younger CPR team. You will demonstrate, based on what I've told you, the proper way to perform CPR. Any screw ups, and I'm docking points." She threw a pointed look at Takeshi, who wiped the drool off his face but couldn't seem to hide the blush.   
"First: Aoshi and Kasumi!"  
Kasumi blanched, gave what she thought was a subtle glance of sorrow in Satoshi's direction, and went to the front of the room, Aoshi covering his excitement poorly as he headed to the front of the room.  
Satoshi doodled on his notebook, went over his math homework, reviewed his Geography notes, spun his pen between his fingers, made little rips in the top of his notebook page until pieces started to fall off and made his desk look like a confetti explosion, then finally set his head on his desk, trying not to look in Shigeru's direction.  
Shigeru stared dully into space, trying to think of anything BUT health class. It wasn't working. He noticed Kenji sketching again, and looked over to see what.  
It was a quick sketch of the two people currently performing CPR for the class, Goro Aoyama and Miki Ryuzaki; However, in Kenji's mind or imagination (it was hard to draw the line, some days) the two were properly making out, and Kenji had set them in a bedroom. He'd also taken the care to remove a few clothing items.  
Shigeru pulled out a piece of paper and wrote, "Is she one of your nude models?" and handed it to Kenji as subtlely as possible. Kenji drew in the final details before the pair returned to their seats before writing back "Both of them are."  
Shigeru doodled his surprise onto the page, a small, frazzled looking version of himself. Kenji grinned when he saw it, and wrote back "You should model for me sometime. I'll see if I can get Satoshi to join us."  
"I'll smack you after class" was all Shigeru could write before the teacher said "Satoshi and Shigeru!"  
He felt his heart freeze, then pound like tribal drums preparing for war.  
Satoshi jumped when he heard his name, then felt his blood desert his head, depriving his brain of valuable oxygen, when he realized it was his name paired with Shigeru's. The only thought that processed, as he walked towards the front of the room, was "Oh. My. God."  
"Satoshi, please lay down flat on the floor," instructed the teacher. "Shigeru, please perform first."  
Shigeru nodded dumbly as he knelt down next to Satoshi, desperately scrabbling through the complex and knotted roots of his brain for everything they had gone through in class for the last 4 days.   
Finally, procedure surfaced from the chaos.   
'All right... Tip chin back to ensure the breathing passages are open..." He put his fingertips on Satoshi's chin, and almost wondered if there was an earthquake before he realized he was shaking. He took a deep breath to still his hand before lowering his cheek to Satoshi's face, checking to see if his 'victim' was breathing. He could feel Satoshi's breath, shallow, warm puffs of air. The feeling dragged a fingernail down his spine and he resisted the need to shiver.  
Carefully, gently, he pinched Satoshi's nose. Instinctually, Satoshi's mouth opened so he could still breath. Shigeru stared at him, wondering if this was really taking as long as it felt, and leaned forward, lowering his mouth to the mouth of his classmate- cum- love interest.  
Satoshi felt Shigeru's lips pressing- though awkwardly- against his, and a burst of almond air filled his mouth and lungs. He felt his whole body relax with the feeling, and had an intense knowing that everything would be all right.  
"Satoshi, your turn being the rescuer!" The teacher announced, and Satoshi realized that Shigeru was not attached to his face anymore. He prayed he hadn't been like that very long and rolled into a sitting postion, letting Gary make himself comfortable on the ill- padded linoleum floor. He inhaled, exhaled, and began.  
Shigeru felt the fingertips touch his chin and tip carefully upward. With his neck exposed, he suddenly realized how self-conscious this was making him. He forced himself to relax, which was difficult without a deep sigh. Fingers pinched his nostrils closed, and he held his breath for what came next.  
Satoshi leaned forward, then found time seemed to be slowing down. Or maybe he was hesitating in the feeling of his lips barely touching Shigeru's; he didn't know. Slowly, he forced himself to place his mouth properly over the other boy's and blow. He tasted the orange extract on his breath, and a less focused part of himself wondered if orange was best, that maybe he should have taken the vanilla instead, though maybe Hanako wouldn't notice the orange was missing...  
He internally swatted himself to focus on what was going on around him.  
Shigeru's senses were flooded with orange, lungs filled to capacity and filtering out his nose, and he couldn't get enough. His head swam in the feeling, and suddenly he knew he would forever associate Satoshi with oranges.  
He felt Satoshi lean up carefully, sat up himself, and the teacher dismissed them from the front of the room.  
"That was surprisingly easy," he wrote to Kenji, ignoring Kenji's "but seriously, though, you should model for me!" remark.  
"I hope it's as easy as you say," Kenji wrote. "I hope my partner is at least good looking."  
"Takeshi and Kenji!"  
Shigeru wrote "So how was Hot Stuff?" and left the note on Kenji's desk for when he returned.  
*  
"Dang it, Satoshi, I was really hoping we'd get to be partners, too!" Kasumi lamented as they walked home. "Too bad, huh?"  
"What I resented most," Takeshi stated, annoyance still etched on his face, "is why the teacher 'randomly paired' me with Kenji!" He shot a dark look at Kenji, who was walking cheerfully next to him.   
"Are you saying I'm bad at CPR?" Kenji asked innocently.  
"You're fine at CPR, I was just hoping I'd get a girl who wasn't!" The irritation faded into the 'girl crazy drooling moron' expression as he continued with "Then I could help her practice outside of class..."  
Kasumi rolled her eyes and sighed. Aoshi smiled lovingly at her, saying "Aren't you glad I can be so discreet about slipping the tongue? I think the teacher didn't notice!"  
"I did, though! Aoshi, you can't slip the tongue and give CPR at the same time, it doesn't work right!" Kasumi said crankily.  
"Well, here, let me try without the CPR getting in the way," Aoshi said, almost literally pouncing her and attaching his face to hers. She shrieked, but- as Satoshi noticed- was not exactly fighting tooth and claw.  
Satoshi looked over at Shigeru, who was glaring on ahead of him, trying his damndest to look like this was the last place he really cared to be, fists crammed in his pockets and expression shadowed. He smiled to himself, and said quietly to him for reasons he couldn't understand, "You're pretty good at CPR. Get a lot of practice?"  
Shigeru looked at him, surprised and puzzled, responding with, "I assistant lifeguard sometimes, so I guess I know how to do it..." He paused, then added, "You're pretty good too. Where'd you get the orange breath stuff?"  
Satoshi swallowed his embarrassment as best as he could, and said "First tell me where you got the almond stuff."  
"Erhnm" was the first thing to come to his mouth before Shigeru could speak coherently. "Erh... that is, it's uhm.... Flavor extract."  
"Hnh..." Satoshi half grinned at him. "So was the orange stuff."  
The two watched eachother from the corners of their eyes, smirking and then chuckling over it together.  
"So!" Kenji said, jumping in between the two. "Do either of you want to pose for me? Just some fun pictures, you don't have to take your clothes off or anything. Both of you would be nice!"  
"Kenji, shut UP!" Shigeru said, blushing and throwing a light punch in his friend's direction.   
"Really?" Satoshi said. "Think I'd be good to have pose for you?"  
"Oh, completely and totally sure!" Kenji said, switching to the side of Satoshi farther from Shigeru. Obviously, this tactic was for more than just having a one on one conversation with Satoshi, as he proved momentarily by saying, "I think we need to have Shigeru pose, too. Don't you think he'd make a good model?"  
"Erh, I suppose, yeah, I don't really look at him that carefully, so yeah, I dunno..."  
"Oh, you SHOULD look at him that way!" Kenji encouraged, "He's got the kind of body artists LOVE to draw. C'mon, help me convince him."  
Satoshi looked at Shigeru, who was glaring something vicious at Kenji, most probably involving using his artist's tools in ways they were not intended. Kenji only beamed at him, saying "You'd probably enjoy it. Both of you."  
"Whatever," Shigeru muttered.  
"What?" Kenji wheedled. "What's this 'whatever'? Is that a yes or a no? Shigeru?"  
And so ended the fateful 'Health class blues' day, where nothing fateful happened and everyone felt somehow changed, saving their thoughts on it for another time as they headed to Shigeru's that prime Friday afternoon.  
  
*OWARI* 


End file.
